Happy 2nd day of September! If you know my Momma you know she has pretty much always had the tradition of trying to be the first person to wish each of us kids “Happy first day of the month” every month. It became a game to see if we could tell her before she would tell us. I actually got a phone call from Momma & an email from Dad in which they both wished me a happy first day of the month. Dad even reminded me that this is my 5th month here in Zambia! How crazy is that?!? It feels like maybe just a couple weeks ago I was packing all my stuff & stepping onto a plane to fly halfway around the world. As I look back on my time here though I am so thankful for how God has grown me & what He is doing through me. I feel so blessed that God called me to Zambia. I cannot imagine my life without Zambia in it. This time here has already changed me permanently. I do miss you all so much & miss being a part of Church of the Saviour & BLAST a ton, but I know this is the place God wants me to be during this time of my life.
The past few weeks have seemed like a blur… a lot of activities, meetings, and things to do which is different for me since being in Zambia. I am learning how much I enjoy just being with people on some days instead of always focusing on a list of things that I think need to get done. It has been a productive few weeks though and I have definitely learned A LOT during these past weeks.
On Friday the 14th I went to Livingstone with Mike and Linda Jones. They had some errands to run and needed their lorry looked at by the mechanic because their brakes were acting up. Rob ended up coming with as well as he was planning to go to Livingstone to do some outreach to the street vendors in Livingstone. Since there’s only three seats in the lorry though he rode in the back all bundled up in blankets. When we got there we all got coffee, which Rob usually never has. Well Rob had two lattes and he was AWAKE and READY TO GO! It was pretty funny because he couldn’t slow down his talking and his eyes were just huge. It’s probably a good thing that he doesn’t normally drink coffee because he’s pretty wired without it. J After Rob headed off on his own way Linda and I explored the shops in Livingstone. I found a pair of stone zebra bookends in the market place for a really good price. I’d been after bookends since getting here and the zebra ones were only in one shop out of like 40! I got groceries in Shoprite and then Linda, Mike, and I had lunch at a grill place right in the middle of town. It was almost completely empty, but the food was quite good. Mike had been running errands to the bank and social welfare in the morning, but the people he needed to see at social welfare were not in all morning so after lunch we all went back to social welfare. They finally got to see the man in charge as they are still trying to get the kids from their old orphanage if it does in fact close down. After we finished there the lorry was finished so we took a taxi to pick it up. Then, Mike was finally able to pick up the bunk beds they had come down for that were going out to Mapampi, the hardware supplies he needed for several projects, and to exchange our water pump again as the one he had gotten ended up being broken from the start! We originally wanted to be on the road back to Kalomo by 3pm, but of course we didn’t get on the road until almost 6:30pm. Everything just takes longer here and places don’t always have what you’re looking for so it means going to several places to find that one thing you need. I had a good day with Mike and Linda though and got to talk through a lot of things with them. I feel so blessed to have them here and value their insights and prayers tremendously. It helped so much just to be able to talk through it all with other people who are actually here with me and live life right alongside me. As Linda told me, God must be preparing me for something really big with everything I am going through right now. I know God knows what He’s doing and I do trust Him – I just sometimes don’t understand why exactly I am going through the things I am. I try to have patience and see God’s reasons in it, but I just get so frustrated and discouraged sometimes. And it’s the things that I didn’t expect to be causing the stress that are proving to be the biggest challenges. I don’t really want to go into it any further here to protect those involved, but I do treasure all your prayers so much.
Saturday I spent most of the afternoon at Maureen’s. It is very relaxing to hang out with her at her place. I think it means a lot to her too that I come and visit her at her home. After her dad passed away, in keeping with Zambian culture her uncles all decided who should get what possessions. Since her dad worked for the council here, they had to move out of their house because the council owned it and since her dad no longer worked for them her family couldn’t stay in that house. They pretty much “lost” everything, but yet they have so much in their hearts.
On Sunday we went to church & again after the service we had a meeting for the youths. It seems that the way they motivate people here is by lecturing them and making them feel guilty for what they aren’t doing but should be doing. They rarely seem to hear about grace here. It is a lot about living up to expectations not that it seems to be working. This time it was about not coming to Saturday afternoon Bible Study that I help teach and they seem to like to use me as one of the biggest reasons why they should be coming – that here I am living in Kalomo & I have come all the way from America just to teach them – not that that’s really my purpose in being here or what I feel I’ve been called to do here, but that’s what the church leaders tell the youth. Yet, these lectures seem to have very little to no effect on the youth. They still don’t come on Saturdays & when they are lectured they just stand there not seeming to be affected at all by what is being said to them. It makes me wonder why they are like they are & what it would take to have them become interested in a youth program. It is one thing I did not expect here – I expect apathy in America, but to see it in the faces of so many youths here in Zambia is not something I was prepared to face. I don’t know how to reach them as I’m not really a part of their culture & that really frustrates me. I know though that the only person I can really change is myself – only God can change someone else – so it’s been a good eye opener to the need for prayer in areas I did not really think about here in Zambia before I came.
On Monday we headed back to Immigration once again to get another 30-day stamp. We have still have not received our work visas even though they supposedly meet twice a month. Immigration has become an easy thing though as we have all the proper paperwork in now & she can’t create anything extra for us to do while we wait to get our visas. After Immigration Rob & Christa needed to run errands and I was suppose to meet Mutali at the church at 9:45 so I rode around with them until we went to church to meet Mutali. They still had more errands to run so I walked back to our house with Mutali. Mutali is 18 years old, the youngest of three girls, lives with her mom (her dad passed away a few years ago) who is a teacher at Kalomo High School, and is studying math so she can pass her grade 12 exams and go onto college. She has been to America as part of a youth choir she was a part of when she lived in Zimba (the next town south of Kalomo). She speaks English very well and has a good head on her shoulders. She has a grounded outlook on life and definitely understands at least the basic foundations of Christianity. I hung out with her for most of the morning as we spent time just getting to know each other and reading the first chapter of Galatians together. She stayed for lunch with us and even came to Namwianga in the afternoon with Christa, Acacia, Christianna, and I. She seemed to really like helping with the babies and I enjoyed just hanging out with her. She said there’s not much for her to do at home so she really enjoyed spending the day with us. Rob and Christa actually know her and her family from when they lived in Zimba back in 1997 so it’s fun for them to get to know her again as she’s now a young lady.
On Tuesday Rob, Christa, Acacia and Christianna went to Zimba for the morning. I stayed to watch Isaiah, Katriya, and Shamariah. Shamariah napped from 10am until just about 2pm so I spent most of the time just playing with Isaiah and Katriya. They are so fun to play with as they develop more into their personalities every day. They are learning more words although when they get tired it’s harder for them to remember to use their words instead of just screaming. (They’re actually in my room right now playing with themselves in my mirror. They like dancing and making funny faces at themselves in my mirror. It’s pretty fun to watch them make themselves laugh.) I was able to also get some computer work done while they played together with legos. I helped build them each a plane/space ship and they were content to play imagination with them by themselves. It’s fun to listen them make up stories and play pretend because they aren’t necessarily speaking the most understandable English, but they seem to always understand each other. I made them one of the snacks my Mom use to make us – banana boats! You know what I’m talking about – bananas with peanut butter and then raisins and chocolate chips as the sailors! J They thought it was great although Katriya licked all the peanut butter off her banana before eating it. I tried to make it a special day for them since they were sad they couldn’t go with everyone else to Zimba. I decided to make chicken patties for lunch along with cucumbers and apples. Isaiah discovered he loves barbeque sauce – even on his cucumbers! When everyone else got home I came back to my room just to lay down for a little bit and ended up taking a three hour nap. I hadn’t realized I was that tired, but I definitely felt better after napping. In the evening I worked on my talk outline for the session I had been given during the upcoming National Youth Convention for the Pilgrim Wesleyan Church.
On Wednesday I visited Maureen again and took Christianna along with me since Maureen had asked if Christianna could come visit the next time I came over. It seems that everyone loves Christianna. She has such a joyful spirit and I rarely hear her complain. It’s a good walk there and by the time we got to Maureen’s Christianna was pretty tired. We shared roasted ground nuts together and caught up on life. Then, Christianna and I headed to town to stop at Mike and Linda’s to pick up a couple receipts of the Murphys that Linda had from when we had gone to Livingstone the week prior. We hung out with Linda for a little bit as Christianna was hot and tired from walking all the way back from Maureen’s. She was so cute though about it and still wanted to play games with me the whole time. She kept taking detour paths and then cutting back to the main path we were walking down. She called them shortcuts even though most times they were longer than the main path. She would run though so that she could beat me to the spot where the winding path met back up with the main path. I let her win pretty much every time and she thought it was great fun. We picked up a couple things in town and then headed back home to grab lunch with everyone before heading out to Namwianga.
We spent the afternoon out at Namwianga playing with the babies. It’s so fun to see how much they’ve grown each week. Many of them are learning to sit up and some to even stand. They moved a bunch of them around to different beds and cribs depending on which ones have learned to roll over and which have learned to sit up. I love playing with Sam. His laugh is just great. Although now he’s learned that if he cries when I put him down or when I come into his room that I’ll most likely pick him back up. He use to just be a happy kid all the time and never cry. The second I pick him up he throws his arms around me and just giggles. After I had spent time holding several different little ones they all seemed like they wanted to just cry so I pulled 5 of them out of their cribs and sat them on the floor against my legs and that seemed to make them happy. They seemed a little surprised to see each other sitting up so close to them, but they quickly learned that they could hold each other’s hands and make each other laugh. I think Megan is glad to have the other college girls here for a year from Oklahoma. It makes it a lot easier on her to feel like the babies are all getting loved on and cared for on a daily basis.
On Thursday Tendai came over for the morning. We had Bible study time on Galatians 1 and 2 and I challenged her to read 3 and 4 for the following week. She brought over a Zambian fruit which I don’t remember the name of now. Anyway, you put the seeds in boiling water and they dissolve into sort of a yogurt like texture. You mix in some sugar and then can add yogurt or granola if you want. It was pretty good although it was really really tart! I can see so much of myself when I was younger in Tendai. I hope she really takes to heart our times together and that God will use me or bring another mature Christian female into her life. She has the potential to be an amazing leader, but also some character issues that, if not resolved, could potentially lead her down a really scary path in life.
For dinner on Thursday I made stuffed peppers. They’re one of my favorite things to make back in America, but I forgot I was cooking for mainly little kids. Christa has made some spicy dishes, but it seemed that the stuffed peppers were just a little too much. I didn’t add that many spices, but the green peppers apparently weren’t cooked long enough to make them bland enough. I loved them though. Zambian vegetables are great – we definitely are blessed with great produce here. It’s one of the things I already know I am going to miss back in America.
On Friday I spent most of the day on the computer trying to get my purity course that I’m teaching at Namwianga this next term down into the format that I can teach from. I hadn’t realized how much reading and research and notes I had been collecting until I tried to get into one concise document. I wanted to blog on Friday, but it ended up taking me Friday, Saturday and Sunday to get my purity curriculum to a point where I felt good about it. I also had to write a youth Bible Study on Friday for Saturday and to finalize my talk for the National Youth Convention in Choma that I was leaving on Monday for.
Saturday I wrote, wrote, and wrote. I took a break in the afternoon for Bible Study at church for which there were only 3 people in attendance. It’s still hard for me to see how the youth here can be so apathetic. We discussed again changing the Bible Study from Saturday afternoon to Sunday morning and presenting it during the Sunday School time at church. On Sunday there’s approximately 60 or so youths there so maybe that would be a better way to utilize my time. If they just aren’t interested at all though am I still just wasting my time and putting energy into something my audience isn’t even really going to listen to or apply to their lives? I don’t know. I’m still just trying to process it and see where it is God wants me to invest my time here.
On Sunday we went to church and then I spent the afternoon preparing for my week ahead in Choma. I wasn’t sure if I was leaving on Monday to go up with the youth or if I was going to just go up on Tuesday morning with Rob when he was scheduled to speak, but I decided I should pack just to be on the safe side. I really was unsure what exactly to pack. With having the week be for all the youth throughout Zambia I did not know what the standard would be for dress code and I had no idea where they were putting me up for the week. Given, the National Director, said they would find suitable accommodation when I arrived. So I had no idea what would be safe to bring, as I had no idea who I might be sharing a room with. I decided to just pack for how I normally live for a week and hope for the best. Rob was scheduled to speak Tuesday and Wednesday so if it just wasn’t safe or acceptable I could always come back with him. I finished packing and finished my purity curriculum – 14 pages long! Well at least I’ll be prepared! J
Monday morning I called Mr. Simuuba (the Headmaster of the Secondary School at Namwianga) and was able to go out to Namwianga to meet with him. Well he ended up not being there when I got there – it seems to be a trend with Zambians – you call, they say sure stop on by, you get there in a little bit and they’re already gone! So the District Headmaster was in (mind you he didn’t speak or seem or understand very much English) and so Rob and I met with him. They still did not have their schedule for the upcoming term together – it starts on the 7th… yea about that planning ahead idea… so I gave him my number and name and asked him to call when they had an idea of when they wanted me to teach. We then stopped by the Gregersens where their carpenter, Joe, has been building us a dining room table and chairs (10 of them) for oh about two months. When we ordered them they were to be done in 10 days. We knew that wasn’t going to happen, but the multiple months were also not expected. Well long story short – the table was too high, the chairs were too short, things were not built how we had asked them to be – the varnish wasn’t done – the table top still wasn’t on. So Rob needed to have a conversation with him about how we could fix these issues and get the table and chairs finished so we could have an actual dining table and chairs instead of a makeshift wobbly table and plastic stools. It was suppose to be a quick check in on Joe and discussion – well over an hour later we finally left! I’m glad I packed on Sunday. We stopped in to see George, the director at Namwianga, to check on where they were in the process for filing for their new VAT number. He told us they finally had all their paperwork in order and would be sending Robby Banda at the end of the week to Lusaka to file it all. We would then find out how long it would take to get their VAT number, which would let us know a timeline for actually getting the satellite system out!
We got back home and I quickly ate lunch and then waited for Mike Jones to pick me up. He was giving the youth transport to the National Youth Convention and they had asked me to come up with them on Monday since neither of their district chair people could make to the convention. Since I was packed and ready I said I could definitely do that. I got to catch up with Mike a little bit on the way up to Choma and hear his thoughts on the satellite system and Paul’s quickly approaching trip.
When we got to Choma we discovered we were some of the first people to arrive. There were a few youths from one of the northern provinces that is apparently pretty far away and one of the district chair people from Choma who seemed to be in charge of what ever was already set up. I sat down with Anderson, who is from our church in Kalomo and is the National Youth Sports Director for the Pilgrim Wesleyan Church of Zambia. He seemed to also have some sort of responsibilities in the registration/financial part of the convention. He asked me to help him and with not having anything else to do at that time I told him I’d love to. Wow. I don’t think I had any idea what I was really getting into.
There was no system really in place and no one seemed to be sure of who was in charge. Eventually some paperwork showed up which were a huge stack of profile sheets for each youth to fill out when they paid (although some had already paid and wandered off before the sheets arrived) and a chart to fill in their name, district, local church, and how much they paid. Anderson collected the money while I filled in the chart and nametags. We had each youth fill out a profile sheet before they paid and registered with me… it helped because then I had a sheet, which spelled their name although sometimes the penmanship required that I still asked hem to spell their name for me. I wasn’t allowed to give them their nametag either, which seemed strange to me, but I was told we needed to keep the nametags until we passed out mattresses later. I was told to put all the nametags in a bag until later.
Well about 3 or 4 hours later when they had determined most people had shown up we walked over to the room where all the mattresses were kept. Since the school isn’t in session they put all the mattresses in a storage room. Everyone congregated outside as those in charge tried to figure out how to give mattresses out and make sure each person got their nametag since their nametag also counted as their meal card! We ended up having to sort all the name tags by district: Lusaka, Zimba, Kalomo, etc. and then having them line up by district. I was given the task of listing all the names for a second time on a mattress distribution list! If I wasn’t good at Zambian names before this week I was getting the definite impression that I would be excellent by the end of the week. Of course as we were doing all this about another 40 youths showed up so they had to be registered and written down for mattresses. However, by this point we had already run out of nametags so I had to mark who also needed a nametag the next day when we could get more printed in Choma.
So about 10:30pm we finally started the evening program, which meant dinner was not until about 11:30pm! I had not ate since noon so I was starved by the time dinner actually came. There were about 175 youths plus leadership there. Since they were from all over Zambia it was decided that the sessions would be done in just English. That was helpful for me. However, outside of session time everyone talked in their tribal language pretty much all the time. I was the only non-Zambian there so unless people were speaking directly to me I felt pretty lost. It’s amazing how tired your brain gets, too. I know a little Tonga so some conversations I can pick up on, but for the most part it just sounds like noise to my brain. It’s really tiring because even when I was with a group of girls they would speak in Tonga to each other until they had a question for me or something they wanted to tell me. I wasn’t upset or angry about it as I know that’s their native tongue and what they’re use to, but it did leave me feeling left out quite a bit.
Sometimes I don’t notice skin color anymore. I had to ask Mutali, one of the girls I’m meeting with regularly that came to the National Youth Convention, how much I stand out. She said that I really stood out and that people were always watching me. I realized then that I had become so use to being around Zambians all the time that I did not notice the distinct differences between me and them most of the time. However, since I was the only white person among 200+ Zambians and with most of them never meeting me before I realized that I really was going to be like a fish in a glass bowl for the entire week. I prayed that God would use me in the lives of the Zambian youth and that I would learn as much as I could from them by spending a week with them.
Before I came the National Director told me they’d find adequate accommodation for me upon my arrival. Well I found out when I got there that I’d be staying in the dorms at the Choma Secondary School with all the other girls. I was a little nervous about it but, Rob was coming to teach Tuesday morning so I figured if it didn’t go well the first night then I could go back with him on Tuesday and just come back to Choma for when I was speaking. There are about 12 or more bunk beds in each room. The rooms are very basic. Cement block buildings with windows and fluorescent lights. There is one outlet per room and the bathroom is located at one end of the building. Most Zambians sleep two to a single bed and that goes for even when they are at home. It seems that the Zambian females are very free when they are in their rooms so clothing seemed to be optional. I quickly learned though that these ways of living do not apply to me. When I would get ready for bed it seemed that all the girls would freeze and just watch me. They especially were freaked out when I took my contacts out. They all wanted to see me do it again for them. The first night I did not sleep much at all. It reminded me of being at camp. Even though youth here range from 11 years old to 35 years old the girls in the room I was put in were full of excitement and wanted to stay up all night dancing and talking. I eventually got a couple hours of sleep, but was woken up early by everyone getting ready.
The bathroom situation is something I really wish someone had warned me about. Now I’ve seen the pit latrines and understand about the situation in the bush, but I was not prepared for what I found. At the end of each dorm building there was one bathroom. It had five sinks, three washing basins, a shower area, and three toilets. First, none of the toilets flushed nor did they have toilet seats. The showers also did not seem to really work. So I found out that many Zambian females just go near trees when they need to go to the bathroom. This made the yard areas around the dorms… well you can imagine. Next, they all bathed themselves in the sink. They just splash water on themselves from the sink. Since they don’t need to wash their hair like us white people it works for them. Apparently this is how most bath at home. It however creates standing water all over the bathroom floor. They also apparently go to the bathroom while bathing so there’s a whole extra level of newness for me. They also don’t have plugs for the drains for the sink so they’ll use whatever they can find – plastic bags, soap wrappers, etc. These then get left lying around so as the water does drain out of the bathroom (there’s a drain at one end), the drain gets clogged up and the water rises. They also wash their clothes as they bathe themselves. At first it really shocked me to see all of this at once. I tried to hide it, but I’m sure my face gave me away. Since the showers were broken though and it was hot and dusty out I also needed to shower. I think it shocked the girls more that I also showered in the sink area with the rest of them just as much as seeing the bathroom situation shocked me. It was a little unnerving to be watched though and I tried for most of the week to shower when most of the girls were not around. It was definitely a growing experience though in learning about Zambian culture and trying to live like them.
The other big stretching point for me was the food. I am so thankful for all the different kinds of food we as Americans get to eat – and that we most times take for granted. The Zambians have n’sima for lunch and dinner every day. For breakfast they have two slices of bread and a cup of tea (no sugar or cream provided). For lunch it was usually n’sima with cabbage as a relish. In the evening it was n’sima and usually cabbage plus either beans or meat. The meat was also very tough. One of the churches that came paid by bringing one of the father’s cows. When you don’t have money here it is common to pay with chickens or cabbage or beef. I think the cow had seen many younger years though as it was quite tough. I always ate what I took though as it is very disrespectful to them if you take something and then don’t eat it. They seated me at the table with the guest speaker, his wife, the National Director, his wife, the Assistant National Director, and the speakers who would come just for the day they were speaking. It was quite an honor to sit with them and I enjoyed hearing their conversations over the meals during the week. They spoke in English most of the time and I greatly appreciated it. By the end of the week though I had had my fill of n’sima! I cannot imagine having it every single day. Of course most of them don’t know anything else so there is nothing else to compare it to. I definitely had too much cabbage though and was glad to cut that part out of my diet at the end of the week. J
On Tuesday I was asked/informed that I would be in charge of registration for the whole week. I actually really liked this as it fed my administrative gifting and helped me feel like I was able to provide a real service while at the convention. Over the course of the week we ended up reaching around 225 in attendance. I also helped Anderson with the financial books for the convention. He was in charge of the money, but I helped him make sure the numbers added up as far as collection of money and then what was spent every day on food and various supplies. I ended up showing him how to use Excel on my laptop to put all the data into a spreadsheet so it would be in one place and not on a paper, which tended to get lost. I also became the person though that carried all the paperwork around. Since I already was taking my computer with me everywhere (for security reasons) I had my laptop bag with me. This apparently was a sign to them that I had room for all the profile sheets, registration materials, and any other papers they could find that dealt with administration. My bag got quite heavy by the end of the week! Still it felt good to be back in my element of organizing and keep track of all the administrative details. Somehow I also got put in charge of letting people into the dining hall. The “rule” was that they had to have their nametag to get into the dining hall. I also had my registration chart with me though so if their name was on the chart they could also get in. The way I was to let people in varied every day. One day they even thought it would be fun for me to call all the Zambian names one by one to let them in. Ha! I know I butchered more than one name. They were very gracious though and only snickered at me instead of busting up laughing. I think they admired that I would at least try. It did help me learn many of their names though and they liked it a lot when I would call them by their name when I would walk by them around the school campus.
Also on Tuesday, when Rob showed up to teach he told me he was flying to America the next day to deal with some things at home. He was suppose to teach on Wednesday as well on building and maintaining a strong marriage, so he let me know that he was giving that topic to me. First, I’m not married and second, I’m not Zambian so I really didn’t know how that was going to work. I talked with Given, the National Director, and he asked me if I would teaching on dating and courtship then to the younger youths while the person who had been assigned dating and courtship would talk to the older youths about marriage. I said I could handle that. I had been working on my purity curriculum so I had plenty of background stuff already pulled together to talk on dating and courtship. Here it is a little different though as I have learned. First you date meaning you go out with someone to see if you like them. If there is interest by both parties then the boy asks the girl’s family if he can court the girl. If the family agrees the boy and girl start courting. If they decide they want to marry the boy has to again ask the girl’s family’s permission. There is also a bride price. I forgot the word for it, but the family sets the price the boy must pay in order to marry the girl. It can take several years to get what is needed for the bride price, but once it has bee paid then a big daylong marriage celebration is planned including all kinds of dances performed by various friends and family. It is an interesting system, which I can see positives and negatives in.
My talk on Wednesday went decently. I was given the 11 to 16 year olds of which there were about 30. I knew there were more, but many tended to skip different sessions. In fairness the sessions went from after breakfast until lunch, after lunch until dinner, and then after dinner until about 11pm. It’s a long day for an adult, let alone an eleven yr-old. Thursday and Friday they finally broke it up with sports in the afternoon, but every day they went over in sessions. I don’t think we had a single meal the entire week that was on time. Welcome to Zambia. Anyway, my talk went pretty well as the kids that were there seemed really interested in what I was sharing. For the most of them it was the first time they heard about the emotional side of dating, courtship, marriage and sex. They hear all the time about STDs, HIV, abstinence, and all of that stuff, but from my research here many of them are not taught about the emotional side of romantic relationships and sex. At first they didn’t have any questions, but as I taught and asked them questions they became more open with me. I loved seeing them work up the courage to ask a question and then seeing the delight on their faces when I would give them a real answer. Many of the younger youths who did not make it to the session came up to me later and asked me to tell them what I had taught. And many of the older youths asked what I had taught about and asked me their questions. I had not realized that they would have so many questions or would be so interested in what I had to say. I had the perception that what I had to share may not be relevant to them or that they might have heard it all before. It was an honor to be able to share my thoughts and what I had learned from the Bible about relationships and sex with them. I think my commitment to being there all week had shown them that I really cared about them so they were willing to be open with me.
Thursday was the day I had been originally asked to talk. Given had asked me to speak on influence and team building. I had spent a lot of time deciding on which passages I wanted to use and to learn from the Zambian youth here in Kalomo how they viewed influence. To most of them peer pressure is seen always as a bad thing. They have been taught by missionaries for many years about not giving into peer pressure when it comes negative things in life that their view of peer pressure is only one sided. I wanted my talk to empower to them – to encourage them that peer pressure when used in the right way for right things is actually a good thing. We hear often about not leading people astray and not sinning, but we forget there’s another side to that. If all we do is harp on all the negatives that we shouldn’t be doing it does not leave us feeling encouraged. We all slip up. We all make mistakes. If we’re always taught to look at the negatives we shouldn’t do, well when we do end up doing them we get stuck feeling bad and guilty. I’m not saying we should be okay with sinning, but our focus shouldn’t just be on not sinning. We NEED to focus on the good that God focuses on. He doesn’t focus on our negatives – otherwise He’d probably get discouraged, too because as humans we fall into the negatives more than we’d even like to admit. God focuses on the good, the plans He has for our future, and the hopes He has for us. I concentrated my talk on using your influence for the good things of God… to use peer pressure in a good way. I focused on how God calls us to be different from the world and how that difference will influence others to do what God is calling them to do. I started with Matthew 5:13-15 about the salt and light. I asked them how are they using the way God created them to affect the world around them or are they letting the world change them. Who is influencing whom? If you just leave salt sitting on the shelf it has no value. The analogy is that Christians who make no effort to affect the world around them are of little value to God. God loves all people, but He also desires to use us to reach those around us. That is our purpose. That is His plan. We are His plan. We are to be like the city on the hill, the lamp on the table. The city cannot be hidden, the lamp is not put on the table and then covered. They are seen and provide light. I challenged them to live for Christ so that everyone around them can see the difference in their lives.
Once I felt they understood about how their influence can be a good thing and how to use their influence for Christ I moved onto team building. I have been on good teams and bad teams so I wanted to address this topic from both sides. I asked them if they could think of what it takes to build a winning team, what it means to be on God’s team, and why it is important to be on God’s team. I used I Corinthians 3:7-9; I Corinthians 12:12, 14-27; Philippians 3:12-14; and I peter 2:4-10. The first passage from I Corinthians 3:7-9 talks about the man who plants the seeds and the man who waters the seeds have the same purpose. They are on the same team. In the same way God’s work requires man different people with different gifts to fill different roles. We are all on God’s team, but we have different giftings and callings on God’s team. If we all do our part we will succeed with God, but if we all think we need to do exactly the same thing in exactly the same way we will not accomplish the plans and hopes of God. We need to set aside our selfish nature and seek to be used by God. When we do, we will accomplish things, which have eternal value and significance. We may not think our part has much importance, but on God’s team there is no mundane roles or wasted work. I challenged them to ask themselves if they are seeking their own glory or living to glorify God. To be on a successful team each team member must understand and embrace their role on the team as well as be supportive of all their team members’ roles and contributions.
I then transitioned into I Corinthians 12:12,14-27. This was an extension almost of chapter three. It talks about all parts of the body being needed and how parts of the body cannot say they are that part. We are all needed to God. We cannot say we are not who God created us to be. We cannot say our role is useless or unimportant. God gave us our role so it is vital to Him. We all should also look out for one another. We are to take care of each other so that we can work as a fully functioning body in every part of our body. We at the same time cannot say that we are more important than someone else or that they are not needed. The whole body needs every other part to be whole. When we all work together we can accomplish so much more for Christ. The best teams exist because everyone works for the same goal. Philippians 3:12-14 talks of the goal we should be striving for. We should be pressing on to eternal life with Christ. I challenged them to ask themselves how they are working to achieve the goal laid out by the apostle Paul in Philippians and how they are doing in supporting their fellow team members. Paul speaks of putting his past behind him. Are we putting our past behind us AND are we putting others’ pasts behind them? Do we continue to see each other as the sinful creatures we once were and the past mistakes we made or are we seeing each other the way God sees us? When we move on from out past we embrace the grace Christ extends to each of us. When we are on a team we can’t dwell on the past. It won’t help the team improve or do better the next time. Instead we need to focus on the future for that is all we can change. On a team we are accountable to each other to focus on the future and to help each other become better. As members of God’s team are we keeping each other accountable?
I brought my talk to a close using I Peter 2:4-10. We are all stones that God uses together to build His house. Even if others have rejected us or we have sinned in the past, God still has plans for each of us! We belong to God if we chose to believe in Him. It is ONLY in HIM that each of us can be assured the final, eternal victory will be ours. And it is given to us in grace – not because we earn it but because of what Christ did on our behalf. God does not reject anyone. He wants all of us to be on His team. His team, we know, has secured the victory in the end. My final challenge for my talk was for them to ask themselves what team they want to be on.
All throughout my talk I felt like they are a completely captive audience. I’m sure my recount of my talk doesn’t really do it justice because it was one of those times again when I felt like God was speaking through me. The passion He gave me and the clarity of words was incredible. I would say that talk has to be one of my top five talks ever given. I could see it in the Zambians eyes – it made sense to them. They weren’t just listening and being polite, but they actually got it and it made sense to them. I have no idea what sort of impact it has today on their lives or if they even remember a word I said, but I have to trust that if a time comes when they need to remember about influence and team building that God will prick their conscience with something He spoke through me. It’s such an honor and blessing to be used by God in the lives of the Zambian youth. As much as I love the administration piece of ministry, I know that fills my human nature. I know it’s a gift from God, but when I teach and I have put adequate time into it and my heart is in the right place – to be used by God to teach His Word to others – it’s indescribable really. I don’t know exactly the words to use. It gives me such an energy and I feel incredible afterwards. I don’t always remember what I said and how I said it, but I can see it in the audience’s eyes – something has penetrated their heart and it’s definitely not me. I love it.
Thursday afternoon and Friday afternoon we played sports. Our Kalomo guys won volleyball on Thursday and our girls won the 100 meter, 400 meter, and 800 meter races which also meant that Kalomo district won the trophy for most overall! On Thursday they also let girls play soccer! Of course I was thrilled so even though I didn’t have my cleats or gloves I jumped into goal. Well it was an experience. It kind of reminded me of watching little kids in like AYSO soccer. Girls don’t get to play much so everyone followed the ball one way and then everyone followed them another way. The other team we played had several breakaways. I decided diving was probably not a good idea so they did end up scoring once. They thought that was absolutely incredible – to score on the girl from America. I really wanted to dive, but thought I shouldn’t push myself too far with my knees.
On Friday night they gave out awards. Even though there were only a small number from Kalomo district, we won guys volleyball, the girls 100 meter dash, the girls 400 meter dash, the girls 800 meter dash, and the award for most athletic wins. Our kids were really excited.
The week opened my eyes to so much. I got to learn about their culture in a very up-close way. I think I also showed them how missionaries truly care for them by sacrificing an entire week and living just as they did. I learned more of their worship songs and got to be a part of casting out several demons in Jesus’ name. I felt at home and in my element. There were moments in the days where I’d feel like and outsider and wondering what I was doing there, but as I look back on my time with the youth I see how privileged I was to be used by God in their lives. I learned just how hard they work, how much effort they put into what they do, how much they want others to be proud of them and see the good in them, how competitive they get in sports, and how, despite the outward differences, they really are just like American youth. Or maybe American youths are like Zambians youth. The heart level is the same – and that makes perfect sense seeing as it is God who created us all. Being here has been such a blessing and I know it will impact the way I live the rest of my life.
Coming home on Saturday was an adventure all of it’s own. We finally left the Choma secondary school once everyone else’s transport arrived… another part of being with the leadership of the conference. We get into town to find a taxi to take us back to Kalomo. It’s only a 40 minute drive so I’m thinking I’ll be home by 11:30am… riiiiight. Well we have to first go around town dropping things off at different people’s houses that we borrowed for a week and then had to go greet people at a wedding and then go get groceries from the market. Ok, an hour later we’re finally looking for a taxi. We find a guy and load our stuff. Well then instead of getting on the road to Kalomo we go back into the market in the taxi and find out they want to find two other people to go to Kalomo so we’ll have a full taxi and he can make more money! So drive around the market for 30 minutes and finally find one other lady. They give up finding anyone else and we go back to the taxi station. The guy that had been in the car gets out and a younger kid gets in to actually drive us back! Apparently this is a common practice in Zambia. So we finally get on the road… but this kid won’t drive over 60km/hr and then he gets on his cell phone and his speed slows to 40km/hr. I’m wondering if I’m ever going to make it home, but at least we’re going home. Until wait! He sees a taxi friend going back up to Choma and both cars come to a screeching halt. They both back up (on the road mind you) until they get back to each other. They talk about something in Tonga for like 5 to 10 minutes and then they finally say goodbye. So back on the road to Kalomo… the lady in the car with us gets dropped off first, but we have to wait until her ride shows up so the taxi driver can get paid. Sure. Finally, we get back on the road and I finally get dropped off at home. Ah. Home. After paying the guy and unpacking best I can I fell on my bed and just slept. I would have showered, but the power was out so there was no water. Oh the joys of living in Zambia. I don’t think I’ll ever take water and electricity for granted again. And I definitely won’t take efficient traveling for granted after that Saturday.
Sunday and Monday were normal days. Church on Sunday and Bible study with the girls on Monday. Monday was also catch up day with getting things from town, doing finance work, and trying to catch up on emails. I enjoyed some uneventful days after the busy week prior at the conference. Tuesday was another day of relaxing and just reflecting on what I learned at the conference as well as how what I learned should change the way I spend the rest of my time here in Zambia. Tuesday I tried to find Tendai to hang out with her, but she seemed to disappear. I had a feeling she would distance herself sooner or later. She has so much potential, but Satan knows that as well. I know what it’s like to feel like both sides are pulling on you very hard. Without a solid foundation in Christ, the pull that Satan exerts can be very alluring. I hope that I am able to maintain my relationship with Tendai and that she will be able to grow in Christ. I am worried for her though. If you remember her please pray that she will give her whole heart to Christ and plant her life in His.
On Wednesday we went to Namwianga like usual. I had missed my kids. They’re all getting so big. I love to see their personalities develop. It was a great time with them. As I held each kid I took time to pray for him/her and to tell them that they are a masterpiece to God. I know they may not understand the words I’m saying to them, but God does and I have to believe in their little hearts they are being touched by God.
The hard part of Wednesday came on our way home. Rob was not with us as he was in America so it was just Christa, the kids, and I. As we were driving home we came upon the bridge everyone gets the creepy crawlies about. Driving both ways (to Namwianga and back home) the road slopes down pretty steeply to this bridge. There are no guardrails and loose sand piles up on the bridge. It is definitely only a one-lane bridge so it is crucial that you slow down upon approaching the bridge. Well as we got to the bridge there was a man standing on the bridge waving his arms. At first Christa and I thought he just wanted us to let his friend on a bicycle to cross first, but as we stopped we saw smoke rising from the river. Now the river is low this time of year as we are well into the dry season. I jumped out of the Cruiser and sure enough there was a lorry flipped upside down. I could see one man trying to turn the lorry off so I knew it had just happened. That’s when I realized the man on the bridge was bleeding pretty badly from his head. I looked back to the riverbed and saw there was a motorcycle in bad shape down there and a bicycle as well. There were a couple men sitting on the bank and one laying in the water in obvious pain. I yelled for Christa and she went down the embankment to check on the men down there. I tried to calm the man on the bridge down while dialing the Gregersens number. I got a hold of Linda and she said she would get a group of men together to come down to help. Other people started arriving and the lorry finally shut off. That is when I smelt the alcohol on the one man’s breath. The man who was bleeding from the head finally confessed that the driver had been drinking heavily. He was traveling way too fast and they tried to get him to slow down. He got mad and just went faster. The lorry was out of control and as they got to the bridge they collided with the motorcycle and the bike and flipped off the bridge. I felt sadness and angry sweep over me. There is already so much pain and loss in this country. How could someone be so selfish as to drink and drive? And why would people knowingly get in a lorry with such a person? I asked the men if anyone else was missing and I finally got from the one bleeding from his head that there was. The man down at the truck had apparently told Christa there wasn’t. I made my way down the embankment as quick as I could and yelled for Christa that there were men under the lorry. As I reached the stream the man lying in the water was trying to get up. I had three men come and help carry him up the hill. That’s when I saw the one boy. His chest had risen above the water, but it was evident that his neck had been snapped as his head was stuck under a cement bag and the rest of his body under the lorry. Christa checked for a pulse and he did not have one. The men said there was one more missing, but we couldn’t see anyone. The women who had shown up started to wail and some of the men from the accident started to try to walk away. Another car had stopped, one man had gotten out, and the other went back to Kalomo with the car to get the police. Here you can’t really call the police and expect them to come. You have to go get them and bring them to where you need them. I had tried to keep the kids in the car so they wouldn’t see. There wasn’t much else Christa and I could do so we decided to take the two worst – the man that had been writhing in pain in the stream and the man bleeding from the head – to the Kalomo hospital since that was the nearest medical facility open at this time in the evening. The man who had been driving tried to come with us, but I forcefully told him to sit down and stay put. The man that had gotten out of the other car that had came upon the scene agreed to stay until the Gregersens and the police showed up and to make sure that the driver of the lorry disappeared. As Christa got the Cruiser restarted and the kids settled with the two men in the back I cleared the bridge. There were truck and motorcycle pieces strewn across the bridge and glass everywhere. The adrenaline started to fade as I was clearing the bridge and it took everything in me to hold back the tears and keep composed. As we drove up the Namwianga road I offered to take the kids to the house and start dinner as it was getting late. Christa agreed and dropped us off at the path to our house from the Namwianga road. She took the men to hospital and I walked all the kids home to start dinner. It was hard to stay composed, but thankfully I was able to. Once Christa came home I came to my room and finally broke down. It is just a tragic loss that didn’t need to happen. In the days later we found out both men that we took to the hospital were okay. The one who had been writhing in pain was a 9th grade boy whose mom was a friend of Linda Gregersen. However, there were two dead. One was a friend of the boy we took to the hospital. He also was in the 9th grade and his mom was a very close friend of Linda Gregersen. He was just trying to get a ride back to Namwianga to get home. It’s a senseless loss. He was apparently a bright young boy and I can’t help but wonder what kind of future he might have had. I know God has a purpose in everything, but tragedies like this are just sometimes hard for my feeble human mind to accept it as part of God’s plan. Please pray for everyone involved in that accident and everyone who travels that road. Pray that they would make wise choices in their driving as well as in life.
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