And Finally Caught Up! Oct 28, 2009

September really went by like a blur. The days leading up to Paul arriving I spent trying to get everything in order at the house and getting a comprehensive list of projects together that would be the most beneficial use of his time. I also put in the schedule time for just us to spend together, times to meet the people I’ve been building relationships with, and times to go out to the places where we’ve been doing ministry since getting here. Most of the days I don’t remember too much. I was too nervous and excited.

Paul’s flight was arriving in Lusaka on the 10th. Paul had never flown before coming to Zambia so I was anxious about how he would do on the plane. Come to find out he loves it. J Anyway, since his flight was arriving in the morning Rob, Mutali, and I headed up in the Cruiser on Wednesday the 9th. Rob had been in America and while he was gone Christa had been driving the Cruiser around. She forgot to keep track of the fuel and when we got in the Cruiser on Tuesday we started praying we would make it to Choma since Kalomo was out of diesel fuel! Well, we made it past Maquaila, but soon started sputtering and the Cruiser shut off. Sure enough we were out of fuel. Rob called a taxi driver’s number he just happened to have in his phone from Kalomo. The guy came and picked Rob, drove him to Choma, found a fuel container in the market, got fuel with Rob, and then drove back to the Cruiser. Now that’s the reader’s digest version. This whole debacle took close to an hour and a half so Mutali and I had lots of time to hang out. We even started watching a movie on my laptop. Rob put the fuel in the Cruiser and then discovered it still did not want to start. Thankfully the taxi driver who had taken Rob had waited around to make sure we could get going. For those of you with diesel vehicles you know exactly why it wouldn’t start! When you run a diesel vehicle out of fuel it is bad news! You have to actually bleed the line to get it to start again. Rob had no idea where the fuel pump was or even how to bleed the line. Remember this is a 1987 Land Cruiser and it’s had all kinds of work done to it so things may not have been put back together exactly right. ;) The taxi driver was looking under the hood and saw another taxi driver friend of his coming up the road. He flagged him down and, PRAISE THE LORD, that guy knew what you needed to do to bleed the line and even where to look to find the fuel pump. Rob also got a hold of the mechanic in Lusaka who had worked on the Cruiser after Rob had blown the engine and confirmed the location of the fuel pump. My job was to hand them the right size wrench. It only took them a few minutes and the line was bled and the Cruiser roared back to life. Thank goodness. I was worried we’d have to take a bus or worse – have Paul figure out how to get to the bus station his first time ever being in Lusaka and ride the bus to Kalomo by his self.

We ended up getting to Lusaka though right as it was getting dark. Most shops close around 5 or 6 pm so we decided to defer the errands we needed to do until Wednesday and went to Rhapsody’s for dinner. It’s a nice restaurant although they’ve changed their menu since I’d last been there and I found there was less on the menu that interested me and things had gotten more expensive. Mutali had never been to Rhapsody’s and really enjoyed the fancy dinner.

We took Mutali to her uncle’s after dinner, which was quite the adventure. Please note Zambians are not the best at directions. I love Mutali, but she’d never been to her uncles and her mom gave her vague directions. So there we were driving around in the dark, dark night trying to find her uncle’s compound. Let’s just say it’s really off the beaten track… like I wasn’t sure the road was going to be wide enough for our Cruiser to make it. It’s a huge compound though and we found out her uncle is a banker and raises like 5,000 chickens to sell to various vendors in Lusaka for meat. He’s doing quite well, but he definitely wanted to have land all to himself. After we dropped her off Rob dropped me at the Reedmat Lodge. It took me forever to get to sleep. I was just too excited.

Paul’s plane was scheduled to land around 7am. Rob picked me back up (he had stayed at another lodge to avoid anything even looking shady) and we made the drive out to the airport. Rob dropped me off at the door and went to go park. I walked up to the window where you can see people getting their luggage and sure enough there he was!!! I got all jittery nervous and anxious for him to just get his bags and get through the checkpoint! Rob got to the door just before Paul got through the checkpoint. There was quite the crowd waiting for people so I waited to get a real hug until we were out in the parking lot. I felt like it was our first date all over again. Paul didn’t know it, but he was really shaking! I kept asking him if he was okay and he just kept shaking his head. Neither of us could get that stupid, silly grin off our faces. You know the one I’m talking about.

First stop coffee and breakfast. I could tell Paul was in a daze. I was in a daze. He was really here in Zambia! I tried to think back to my first day… the day of craziness running around Lusaka and me thinking it was way too much like America to really be Zambia. Paul had an advantage though. He had head me describe all of this to him over the past 5 months so I don’t think it was all as much of a shock to him as it was to me. After breakfast Paul and I went to the supermarket, Game (The Zambian version of Wal-Mart), and to Mica (a hardware store) while Rob did his own errands and picked up Mutali. The goal was to make it out of Lusaka by lunchtime so we would get back to Kalomo by dark. The 10th is also Christa’s birthday so we were also trying to get home at a decent time to celebrate it with her.

Well we almost made it out of Lusaka. We stopped at a take away place for lunch and while we getting back into the car some of Rob’s friends found him. Rob likes to look for movies from the street vendors. Mind you they each have a stack of like 60 movies! There’s no Interpol here so these discs have around 10-15 movies on them… the quality is definitely lacking though and many are in English with English subtitles that you can’t turn off. So we sat there while Rob shuffled through all the piles. He didn’t find any he liked so there went that twenty to thirty minutes. We finally got on the road home and stopped at banana corner to get produce and pick up a couple baskets for Christa. The baskets Zambians make are amazing and great quality. You can’t really understand banana corner until you see it for yourself. There are a crowd of women with bananas, apples, oranges, and tomatoes as well as some people with curios (touristy gifts). When you stop they all try to shove their hands with their produce in your window so you will buy from them! It’s quite the site. Rob finally found some bananas & we got back on the road. Paul & I both napped here and there on the ride down to Kalomo. The town before Kalomo, Choma, has a grocery store and Rob wanted to stop to look for ice cream. While he went into the supermarket Paul & I went over to the Choma Garage hardware store. This place is known for having supplies you can’t find pretty much anywhere else in Zambia. I knew Paul probably was tired so I said we didn’t need to get anything really that day, but just more so to introduce him to the manager & see the place.

We got back in the car, but when Rob went to start the Cruiser it just went “click, click, click.” Not a good sound. Welcome to Zambia, Paul. We pulled out his tools even though he had an idea that it was the starter solenoid that had gone bad. He took a look under the hood and under the Cruiser and sure enough the problem was with the starter. He drew quite a crowd of Zambians while investigating the problem. Apparently it’s quite the spectacle to see a makua doing his own automotive work. The crowd turned out to be handy though as there was nothing Paul could do to fix it at that moment so we needed a push start. J

So we finally got home and Paul and I got to spend time that evening just relaxing and unpacking his suitcases. I’ve never liked living out of the suitcase so I insisted on him unpacking everything so he would feel like it was home for him too. He was staying in my room and I was staying in Isaiah’s room since Isaiah knew me and then Paul could have his own space to relax. It also gave us a safe place to keep all of Paul’s tools. I didn’t mind until I realized Isaiah coughs and moves in his sleep A LOT! I would wake up thinking he was up coughing and getting sick, but when I’d get out of bed and go over to him he’d be fast asleep. He still sleeps on a plastic wrapped mattress in case of an accident, but it means I got to hear rustling plastic pretty much all night. He’s a busy dreamer that kid. I got use to it though after a couple weeks. J

The time with Paul here really just flew by. He fixed our water pump, installed a sediment filter, fixed the leaking plumbing, re-plumbed the back bathroom so it ran off the water pump instead of town water, built a garden spigot for Clifford to use, put a hot water tank up for my bathroom, and numerous other plumbing projects. He built me a bookshelf, bathroom shelves, and put hooks up for me to hang my bags on. He built the Murphys floor to ceiling pantry shelves and laundry shelves. He fixed many, many electrical issues and even put in new lighting and electrical sockets at the church here in town. I got to help him with all of these projects and he was so great – he always took time to teach me what he was doing so I now feel competent in doing plumbing and electrical work. I could try to build something, but for some reason that still feels a little daunting to me. Paul also helped Jako out by trying to recover info off their hard drive that crashed and helped Robby Banda at Namwianga with their server issues. Robby was very, very excited for Paul’s help.

While Paul was here we also took a few days to get away, just the two of us, down to Livingstone. We were actually at a stand still with projects and needed to get some supplies for which the closest place that might have what we needed was Livingstone. So it worked as a vacation and a supply run. We took the coach bus, Mazhandu Family Bus, which has 7 daily runs from Lusaka down to Livingstone and back up to Lusaka. Most of the buses do not have air-conditioning anymore so depending on where you are seated you can have interesting smelling people around you. The road between Zimba (the next town south of Kalomo) and Livingstone is being redone so all traffic has the taken the temporary dirt road off to the side of the construction. It makes for an interesting ride hitting all the bumps and holes.

We got down to Livingstone though by evening and checked into a backpackers down there, which is right in town. Jolly Boys Backpackers is a really clean, safe place and they offer dormitory style boarding. This was what Rob asked us to do so that we would have accountability in place with it just being the two of us down there. At first Paul was a little hesitant about staying at a hostel, but by the end of our time there he wanted to stay longer. J It definitely was mainly people around our age range with a lot of different areas to just lounge around. There was a nice pool, a little restaurant there, and just a relaxing feel to the whole place. And it was also nice that it was right in town so that we didn’t have to get a taxi to go get supplies or go out to eat. Every night we had an excellent dinner and enjoyed just walking around town in the evening.

One day we spent at the Victoria Falls hiking around there. It is a lot different in the dry season, but you can do a lot more there than you can during the rainy season as we got to walk across the top of the Falls. Paul was quite nervous for me, but I did fine and we got to see some truly breathtaking views. We also got to hike down to the boiling pot where the river comes into a circular area and spins around before finding its way downstream. The power of the water is just incredible! It was hot the day we went though and by the end of our time there I was quite tired and sore. It was definitely worth it although I do hope Paul gets to come back and see the Falls during or just after rainy season when the river is full and there is just an amazing amount of water going over the Falls!

I also got Paul to go to the curio market with me and we got all of our Christmas shopping done for everyone back in the States pretty much. It’s all bartering and I’m learning how to barter better. Paul was a good sport although I don’t think he realized when we started just how long we were going to be there and how many shops (there were around 70 shops) he was going to have to see. Paul did feel a little better later that day as I let him go to all the hardware stores in town to get the supplies he needed for our projects back at the house. J

It was so nice to just get away and spend some time alone. We are reading the book Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts by Dr Parrot and Parrot. It is a great book and we’d recommend it to anyone engaged or newly married. It has helped us have several really good discussions and has improved the way we communicate with each other. Spending time as just the two of us was very refreshing for me and helped me work through some of my temper issues that have surfaced since getting to Zambia. I had to realize that I was using Paul as my venting person too much and taking my anger out on him because I viewed him as a safe person to blow up at… I know he loves me and he’s in it for the long haul, but I was taking advantage of that. My anger use to get the better of me a lot, but I thought it was something I had grown out of in college. Yet, being here in a new environment with so much being different, Paul was seeing my anger resurfacing. We had several good talks about it and how I could better handle it. It still is not always easy for me and I need a lot of prayer to just be able to continue to give it to God.

We got back to Kalomo and got back into the swing of projects and I got back into my teaching at church on Saturdays and Sundays. Saturdays I’m still only getting around five to ten youths to teach during Bible study time. On Sundays I’m averaging forty to sixty youths! I know it’s not about numbers so I’m trying to be diligent in serving both meetings with the same enthusiasm. We got back into Kalomo on Saturday and on Monday the Murphys had to go to Livingstone with Megan who had come to visit for 10 days. She and her husband are praying about moving their family to Zambia as he is also a doctor specializing in pediatrics. She is great and I loved the brief time I got to know her. The Murphys were going to Livingstone with her to do the touristy things and to just spend some time on vacation as a family. They were not sure how long they were going to be gone, but the earliest they’d be back was Wednesday night and the latest would be Saturday night. Since it was just Paul and I staying at the house they asked if another Zambian female would stay at the house with us – just for accountability. Not that Paul and I would do anything inappropriate, but so that the neighbors would see someone else there and people would not start rumors. We ended up asking Mutali since the Murphys have basically adopted her as another daughter and she has been the most consistent in meeting with me for discipleship. She is such an enjoyable person to have around as well. She is very easy going and can just hang out and read so you don’t feel like you always have to entertain her. She loves to laugh and has a great understanding of English so it was nice to just have another friend around for the week. She loved staying with us too because she got to have American style food for the week, a hot shower, and sleep in her own room with a fan all to herself. These are all luxuries most Zambians don’t have in their own homes. She was so appreciative of all of it although now she does say when she comes over that she misses having a fan to sleep with at night. J

Paul continued to try to help Robby at Namwianga and worked on small projects around the house. We were nearing the end of his time here though so needed to make a decision on the satellite system quickly. Getting our satellite system out of customs and installed was one of Paul’s top priorities. He had been great about being patient, but we were reaching the end of our window to wait for the customs charges to be cleared. Robby sent paperwork the ministry of finance to try to get an exemption for our satellite to be cleared. Namwianga has all their paperwork in, but is now just waiting for their status to be approved and to get their new identification numbers. We were praying that it would be clearly because if it wasn’t then we’d have to pay seven times the amount of what it would cost to get it out when the customs duty charges cleared. We had originally thought we’d go up Wednesday, but I talked Paul into waiting one more day. We got on the first bus up to Lusaka with the hope of getting the satellite and some hardware we’d need to install it and catching the last bus back to Kalomo. It was quite the ambitious plan as the first bus leaves at 8am and arrives in Lusaka between 1 and 2pm. The last bus back to Kalomo is at 7:30pm… not a lot of time to get everything done! We knew though that it was all in God’s hands and what seems impossible or unlikely to us was definitely possible for God. Well on the way up we got a text message from the Murphys saying the Robby Banda had texted them saying the exemption had come through that morning! We called Robby when we got into Lusaka and sure enough, the ministry had approved our exemption for our satellite system! How awesome is that? God is so good! We got lunch, picked up supplies, got the satellite, and made it back to the bus in time. The satellite JUST fit under the luxury bus (the one with air-conditioning and nicer seats!) so we were able to get everything home the same day. We didn’t get back to Kalomo until a little after one in the morning. Mike Jones offered to get us and give us a ride back to our house with all our packages. He’s great. Paul and I were both exhausted, as it was a very long day.

Paul also started not feeling well that day – some sort of stomach bug where he just wasn’t hungry and didn’t feel well. I told him the satellite installation could wait until he felt better, but if you know Paul you know his response – no it’s going up today! So we got up and starting getting all the parts together to install it. It did end up taking us over a day to get it to actually receive signal, but by Saturday evening we had satellite Internet! It is awesome although some days I don’t really want to get online. I’ve gotten use to not really having the Internet so sometimes I feel overwhelmed by it or I know I can get sucked into just randomly surfing the Internet. Bleck... I hate that I waste time like that. It’s teaching me more time management though as my office is also my bedroom so I have to motivate myself to do the work I need to get done. It is awesome though to be able to talk online with everyone again and to be able to video chat with my family! I use iChat on my Mac so I use my gmail account: abigailcristin@gmail.com and my AIM account abbiemorehead on there. I also use Skype as it seems to have the best video quality ability and my account on there is abigail.cristin and am most times logged onto both. I would love to talk with any and all of you – although probably not all at the same time. J I am also on Facebook more and am working on posting pictures from my past 6 months on there. It tells me I can share the link for the album with people not even on Facebook so next round of pictures I put up I’ll make sure to post that link on here.

With the satellite up Paul was also able to reinstall and upgrade Namwianga’s server. Robby was immensely thankful and he was just as sad as I was to hear that Paul’s time in Zambia was coming to an end. The Murphys came back on Saturday night and found out on Sunday that there was a pediatric HIV clinic or something close to that in Livingstone taking place Monday to Friday. So they did all the laundry, repacked the Cruiser, and left Monday morning to go back to Livingstone! Mutali actually went with them this time to help babysit the kids so Maureen came and stayed with us for the week. I have not gotten to see her much as she has started working at a hair salon in one of the market areas in town. She works from 8am to 6pm Monday to Saturday so I completely understand her not having time to meet. It was nice to have her for the week even though I didn’t get to see her much except for in the evenings for an hour or two. She also loved having American food for the week, a hot shower, her own bed, and a fan! She also loved our library we have at the house here. I have been learning from Maureen and Mutali just how much I have to be thankful for. Paul spent most of the week working on Namwianga’s server and tweaking the Internet to make it work the best it could. On Wednesday we also went to Mapampi, Mike and Linda Jones’ orphanage out in the bush. We rode in the back of the lorry on the 2 hour trip through the bush. He got to meet Anna, the baby girl I had cared for back in July. She is getting so big now and has the cutest little chubby cheeks. Paul got to be helpful again and get the last set of bunk beds for the 4th house into the room they needed to go in. It took a little finagling and pulling out the pins that held the top on the bottom and cutting one of the legs, but he eventually got it in the room. We got to see the activity center they are building too. Their place out there is amazing and God is doing some awesome things through them. The kids there all seem so happy and know that they are loved. It’s hard to really understand the orphan situation here though. Families mostly live all near each other, but when the mother and father die or the mother dies and the father can’t take care of the baby, the baby is then considered an orphan. They usually still have aunts and uncles and grandparents, but none of them can take care of the baby. And it’s not that they don’t want to as many still come visit the kids at the orphanages. It’s a matter of their living condition and finances and having kids of their own to care for. So the child is placed in an orphanage where they can receive the proper care and nutrition and love and schooling. For Mike and Linda they keep the children until they are close to what is considered adulthood here in Zambia. Again it’s a little confusing because you’re considered an adult – that you can take care of yourself and work and earn a living – and yet you’re considered a youth until you are 35 usually. Some orphanages give the kids back to the families once they are 3 or 4 as they are past the crucial stages where they can get sick easily, need a lot of care, and need proper nutrition that they often can’t get in the bush. This is the case at Namwianga although sometimes there isn’t family to take the child back and then they moved into a house at Namwianga for older kids. Other orphanages chose to keep the child through their primary schooling years believing having a stable environment for the kids is important for their development and if the family couldn’t care for them when they are young what changed so dramatically that they can provide the proper care for the kids when they are older. All of these questions are things that I had never thought about really before coming to Zambia. I see the benefits and negatives of both styles, but am just glad that there are people and places here to care for all these babies and children who need someone to provide for them.

The rest of Paul’s time really just flew by and before we knew it we had to go back to Lusaka to take him to the airport. Since the Murphys had been traveling like crazy Paul and I decided to just take the bus up to Lusaka and that I would take the bus back myself. It is safe to ride the big buses and when we had gone up to get the satellite we had found a taxi driver, whose name is also Paul, that gave us excellent rates and was really trustworthy. Paul felt okay about letting that taxi driver drive me back to the bus and that I would get on the bus safely and back to Kalomo. It was so hard to say goodbye to Paul. Before he came I had missed him, but I had no idea what it would be like to have him here in Zambia. I had only experienced Zambia on my own – or well with the Murphys – but not Paul. Having him here reminded me what a good team we make. I think I had previously just taken it for granted. My only real ministry job before Zambia was with Brian at COS and everyone had said we were a one in a million pairing. We just worked so well together. When Paul came into my life it was like that again – although also different as Brian and I just had a work and friend relationship. Paul is like my puzzle pieces. He fills in the holes in my puzzle and adds parts onto my puzzle that I didn’t even know existed! It’s like when I got glasses and realized I had been missing out on so many details in life… when Paul came into my life I realized there was so much more there that he helped me see! Having Paul in Zambia showed me that we were an awesome team no matter where we were. I really feel like we could move anywhere in the world and be fine because Paul just knows how to make things work and how to fix things. He is so supportive of me and giftings together really make a great team. Yes, I was able to talk to him most days while he was in America and I was in Zambia the first four to five months I was here, but having him here let him see first hand the things I had been trying to explain to him. When I had met Paul I questioned God… we had seen each other for 9 years at Creation and ran into each other more times than could just be coincidence… yet we never felt an attraction for each other until Creation 2008 when I had already committed to coming to Zambia! Why God? Having Paul here though helped me to see some of His reasons. If Paul and I would have started dating before I committed to coming to Africa would I have really come? Of course I want to say yes, but I don’t know. If I had met Paul after being in Africa would he really have understood what life was like here and how it changed me? I know God could help Paul understand, but I believe Paul being able to come here will be something that will be something we always remember. I know it has changed both of us for the better. We have talked since about what do we want our life to look like in work, in ministry, and just in our personal lives. I think we both see how each other’s giftings can be used mightily on the mission field. We have talked about coming overseas for a month out of the year to help establish missionaries. Seeing what Paul can do to make things works inspires me and he is great in that he teaches me and others who want to learn. I can actually do wiring on my own now and feel confident doing it! J It’s a big promotion from flashlight holder – although that is a VERY important job as well… especially for the guy doing the work in the dark! But what if Paul and I helped missionaries get their homes ready and functioning so that they can be freed up to do the ministry work they feel God has called them to do in the place they are? Just something to think about and remember in the future.

Anyway, getting back to Kalomo was fine, but I was really sad. I missed Paul more than I thought I was going to. It just seemed empty without him here. I enjoyed just being able to do my work sitting next to him while he does his work. I don’t like thinking about not seeing him for 6 more months, but I know God will help me make it through it and that I will definitely not take for granted getting to be around each other day in and day out when we get married!

It took me about a week to get back into the groove of things. I had to take some times to just adjust my schedule and focus and to give my sadness to God. I found though that I had a sense of peace still. I know that this is where God wants me to be for this time of my life and I know He has Paul where he wants him. Since Paul has gotten back things have started opening back up for him in regards to his business as well! I think it was just good for him to get away for awhile, spend time serving God in a different way, and giving his business back to God… not that he wasn’t trusting God again, but he really couldn’t do any work for his business while he was here so he had to really trust God 100%. Things are starting to take off and it’s so exciting to see the doors God is opening.

Back to Zambia… can you tell I’m a distracted blogger today? Sorry my ramblings are all over the place. Anyway, Kalomo has gotten hot! It’s in the 90s most days and the sun is much stronger here so it’s a beast by the afternoon! Thank goodness for my fan. I also love when Zesco (our electric company) actually stays on. It seems we’re load sharing again with who really knows… but it means me regularly lose power for a couple hours a day… and it’s usually right around dinner which makes it interesting to have a normal evening meal time! The Murphy’s two oldest girls, Acacia and Christianna are back to doing school and Isaiah and Katriya even have some preschool time with Christa in the morning. Rob is starting to meet with more mission organizations and make connections with them. It’s fun to see things start to take off and doors starting to open. I am finally teaching now at Namwianga as well. It took awhile for things to actually come together but I am teaching 11th grade girls on Tuesday and Friday evening. The grades are split into two sections – A and B. So I have 11A on Tuesday and 11B on Friday. I am hoping to get pictures next week so you’ll be able to see all these beautiful young ladies. I am teaching on sexual purity and they seem to be interested in learning about what I have to share so far. I’m trying to focus it more on the emotional and spiritual side of sexual purity as they hear a lot of about the physical side of purity already. For girls I think the emotional side is where we much more easily get pulled down. Other than Namwianga on Tuesday and Friday I am still meeting with Mutali on Mondays, trying to find times to meet with Tendai when she’s not crazy busy, teaching Saturday afternoon Bible Study, and youth Sunday school at church. I have finally caught up on my financial work and now my blog! I will try to keep on top of it more now that we have actual Internet. I am sorry for how out of touch I have been. Thank you all for your continued support! God is good all the time and all the time that is His nature! Please let me know how I can continue to pray for you all as I think of you all often and miss you!